I tried singing again today. It’s not like this is a monumental occurance worthy of celebration, but I do it rarely enough that it’s still special somehow - especially considering how orthogonal to my personality it is.

When I say that I’m getting better, it’s important to keep it in perspective - I’m still nowhere near good enough to sing even a simple song in a musical way. But given that I’m starting from zero, I’m improving. A lot.

When I first started singing, among all the various things dreadfully wrong with my voice, the deepest frustration for me was the tone. Pitch accuracy is simple by comparison: it might not be easy, but at least there’s a definitive, objective reference in telling how you’re doing - you are in tune or you’re not, it’s not a matter of opinion.

But tone quality is much more intangible, and what makes it even more difficult is not knowing… how can I put this… not knowing what you’re supposed to sound like. Singing is an extension of speech, but it’s distinct enough that it’s almost like putting on an accent. You can’t know anything about your singing voice without actually singing, but it’s hard to sing without having any idea what you’re aiming for…

And to begin with, I sounded strangled and unmusical. Well, recently I’ve been experimenting more, and today I more or less confirmed that actually, I can sing with a bloody good, rich, hard, resonant tone if I concentrate on it. I’ve figured it out. This is a remarkable step-up, because I’ve moved forward to where the single major thing holding me back has now been supplanted by something else. I now need to work on pitch accuracy and breath control, and these are things that, although they might be difficult and take a lot of work, are at least easier to quantify. I’m no longer fumbling in the dark as much.

I feel hugely inspired by this: the main obstacle has been cleared, and the road ahead looks open. I’ve also started finding that I fucking enjoy it.

Tried singing “Yesterday” recently. Complained that my voice didn’t sound like McCartney’s.

Realised today I was singing it an octave too low.

That’s why it sounded different.

Still further, I realised that I had already realised that ages ago, and forgotten it…

What’s the word… “D’oh”.

I’ve made little progress with my singing, but that’s because I haven’t been practising at all.

I have identified a few problems that I need to work on.

One is a lack of what I think vocalists call “support”: a constant pressure from the diaphragm. Essentially, I have difficulty producing a constant volume. Notes waver louder and softer at random. This is a problem for my speaking voice, too. The little random lumps and bumps in volume are annoying and very un-musical. Also, the volume changes play havoc with the pitch, which wavers randomly along with them.

I think the solution to this is to simply practise singing long notes, concentrating on producing consistent volume and pitch.

A second is simply tuning: I have difficulty not only holding a pitch, but hitting it correctly to begin with. This is to be expected; although my pitch recognition has come on in leaps and bounds due to my guitar playing - I once correctly pronounced a piano a quarter step out of tune without any reference - it’s still not the best and it’s hardly surprising that my voice is a little shaky in this regard.

I think the solution here is to practise singing simple melodies, with the emphasis on hitting every note just right every time.

A third is tone production. I’m becoming more familiar with getting different sounds from my voice - more from the chest, more from the head, more from the throat or nose, etc - but I still have a lot of difficulty controlling it. I noticed recently - satori moment - that the reason my high notes tend to sound weedy and plastic is that I’m singing them mostly through my nose. They sound nasal. When I concentrate on producing the sound more from my chest, it gets much richer and more professional sounding.

It’s still really difficult, though, so, I need to work on singing notes with different tones.

I still sound rubbish, but who knows, maybe with practice I’ll sound like Ian Gillan.

(I will never sound like Ian Gillan).